Red Carpet Rundown on the Real.

So, it's been three days since the Oscars and we're all kind of over it, right? Well, what I have to say to that is "Gimme 1 more day- this is my therapy!" I live for fashion and movies, so the yummy combination of them both is just too much for me! There was no way that I was going to pass up an opportunity to give you my fashion recap from the red carpet.

This is a fashion review that isn't sugar coated and fancy- you don't have to sit through a fashion police show and listen to some television personalities who are more worried about a punch line than the fashion. I want to give you my aftershock of Oscar fashion by presenting you with my five "Besties" and "Worsties" of the 2010 Academy Awards Red Carpet Fashion.

*I like to get bad stuff out of the way first, so let’s visit all that was horrendous in fashion from Sunday night.*

Worsties

Charlize Theron in Dior Haute Couture. In theory, this should have been amazing-a true beauty in a creation by John Galliano. In reality, this was a nightmare. Although I love the hair and makeup and the color of the dress …I can’t quit staring at her CHEST! Rosebuds gone wrong-Who would do this?!?! NO, NO, NO! I swear when I saw this nightmare for the first time I kept envisioning the sloppy mess of “Painting the Roses Red” in Alice in Wonderland-

Like I said, not a good idea.

Zoe Saldana in Givenchy couture. When I first saw this I felt like I should like it. It’s ruffles and sparkles and purple!!! ….But then I just couldn’t. It looks like three completely different dresses thrown together with no cohesive idea. It’s as if someone covered the bodice in glue and rolled her around in glitter. Then another person came in and wrapped her in lilac tissue paper at the waist. But that wasn’t enough, no, no, they then had to wad the tissue paper, glue it all around the bottom, and dip her in ink for a finishing touch. I just can’t stand the weirdness of it and it makes me confused.

Nicole Ritchie in Reem Acra. 1960’s Fashion gone wrong. I hated this. Hated the hair, hated the makeup, and hated the dress. It looks like a couch I saw in a dumpster a few years back. P.S. Cleopatra called; she wants her eye makeup back. Nuff Said.

Jennifer Lopez “J-Lo” in Armani Prive’. Can I just say EUGH?! I did NOT like this. Everyone seemed to love it and I just wanted her to wear some Spanx! It’s almost as if she doesn’t realize HOW big her behind is. We all know, she’s gotta know! I hate that she loves to wear high fashion but then puts no effort forth to wear it well. Seriously, must you always have that thing jutting out? The dress looks kinda pretty from the front but then she turns sideways and WOW, I think she just put my eye out! This dress is as if she’s having a war of the bubbles!! It’s like “Bubble Wrap Bunch” on one side versus “Bubble Butt” on the other. It’s just too much in that general area for me. And for the record, I don’t want to sound like I’m being a “hater.” I think J-Lo is very beautiful, but I just wish she would class it up a bit. I always feel disappointed in her. Sad Face L

Kristen Stewart in Monique Lhuillier. Twilighter Meg speaking here and sadly, I hated it. She always looks mad and awkward on the red carpet so I think this was too much dress for her. Dress alone? I like it. Dress on Kristen Stewart? I hate it. She just didn’t wear it well. Also, the lack of any jewelry makes her look like she just jumped out of the shower and threw an evening gown on. Maybe if she had worn some drop earrings or some killer red lips there would have been some note of redemption. Alas, there is not, and I am not surprised. Bella, oh wait, I mean Kristen, step it up little lady! I know you have glamour in you.

Besties

Elizabeth Banks in Versace. I LOVED this! She is just so precious and I loved everything about this look. I thought it moved well on the red carpet and also look beautiful in photographs. I love how she is a fair skinned blond but managed to wear a color that was complimentary, unlike many other pasties failed to do with their gown choices. The fit of the dress was on point, as was the color, style, and accessorizing of the whole look. I thought her little diamond headband was adorable, just like her! She killed it!

Rachel McAdams in Elie Saab. This watercolor print dress of loveliness was right up my alley. I loved the ruching detail in the bodice and how the skirt just billowed and flowed. It was so artistic and beautiful. I thought her choice of hair, makeup, and accessories were right on. With a “statement” dress like this, she did right to not overdo with everything else. I thought this look was great and I’ll surely remember it.

Sarah Jessica Parker ”SJP” in Chanel Couture. 1960’s done right! I thought this vintage inspired buttery perfection was to die for! She has gotten a lot of flak for this red carpet choice, but I thought it was gorgeous. I think only someone with her flair and fashion style could pull this off and I am SO glad she did! Her hair went perfectly with the entire look; the massive updo was an ode to the 1960’s glamour and I was feeling it. The color was fantastic for her skin tone and she was absolutely radiant. Thanks Carrie Bradshaw- Me likey!!!

Cameron Diaz in Oscar de la Renta. Cameron usually looks like beach bum. I’m sorry, but it’s true. She’s a gorgeous woman who never seems to get it right for me on the red carpet. However, this night, she was on the money! I loved this look on her. The sparkly gold shade of the gown was great for her coloring. There was also a simplicity to the gown that was understated and classy. Her flowing gold locks and fab red lips were channeling an old Hollywood starlet and it was magnificent. I just could not get over how stunning she looked and her gold earrings threw a modern vibe into that was nothing less than wonderful.

Sandra Bullock in Marchesa. I know, I know! She looked AMAZING! It was her night and she carried herself like she knew it. She was glowing like a new mommy…like a new mommy of a little man named Oscar! The shimmering champagne color of the dress just popped on the red carpet and the intricate beading and detail on the bodice and over the shoulder was breathtaking. This was the perfect dress for the night and can I just say the PERFECT hair and makeup?!? Her hair was sleek and stunning and I am a sucker for red lips! I honestly have to say that if she’d not had the red lips to make us look at her face rather than only the dress, I might have kept right on looking and never noticed. Instead, I saw the gorgeous dress and noticed the woman, absolutely beaming underneath. It was a real winning look, so congratulations Sandy! You killed it!

To wrap up this little fashion bit, I have to mention my #1 favorite thing of all from Sunday night. Jeff Bridges’ wife, Susan Geston’s, turquoise and diamond drop earrings were outta this world, stunningly beautiful! They were beyond words gorgeous and I want a pair. If I ever have a sweet chunk of change, I’ma buy me some! They were THAT outrageously good!

"Looking good, Billy Ray!Feeling good, Louis!"

peace out,

M.